Filed in Managing Stress — June 14, 2022

Managing Wedding Planning Stress

JANENE'S BRIDAL

Welcome to this installment of Janene’s Bridal, Alameda & San Francisco blog post.

On behalf of Stephani, our C.E.O., and our entire Janene’s Bridal and Robert Paul, San Francisco family, we would like to welcome you and sincerely hope that you’ve entrusted us to assist you in finding your beautifully designed wedding dress, veil, and wedding day accessories, or your perfectly fitted tuxedo or wedding suit at Robert Paul, San Francisco. Check us out either at http://janenesbridal.com or http://robertpaulsf.com

Historically, this time of the year marks the beginning of “Wedding Season” as we get very busy with all of our beautiful brides and beyond gorgeous wedding dresses at Janene’s Bridal, both in Alameda and San Francisco; we are equally as busy at Robert Paul, San Francisco with all of our grooms who want to take their wedding day sophistication to the next level with either a fashion-forward tuxedo or beautifully tailored wedding suit. Either way, all of our dedicated stylists at Janene’s Bridal and Robert Paul, San Francisco, got you covered. It’s our favorite time of year as we help prepare all of our stunning couples for the most important day of their lives, your wedding day, where you will take the next step in your journey of love as a married couple. 


Stephani has decided for every bride who purchases a wedding dress from Janene’s Bridal; the groom will get 10% off the purchase or rental of a tuxedo or wedding suit from Robert Paul, San Francisco. So tell that handsome fiancé of yours to head over to Robert Paul, San Francisco, and let our experts take it from there. 

Robert Paul San Francisco Union Square

Wedding Stress

A young couple I have known for several years has begun preparing for their wedding day, which is scheduled for the summer of 2023. As a young couple who is preparing for the most important day of their lives, they are both filled with questions while seeking immediate answers; in addition, they have both just begun to feel the stress generally associated with the planning and preparation of their wedding. As I offered whatever sage advice I could, I was asked the following question, which was a question I wish I had asked someone way back when my wife and I prepared for our wedding day. 

“As we prepare for our wedding day and face what seems like one decision after another, how do we control and manage our stress levels while continuing to support one another. How do we navigate our stress without driving one another crazy.

I want to commend this young couple for asking me this question and being insightful enough to recognize they were beginning to feel unfamiliar stress associated with all of the decisions they were now having to make. I wanted to make sure I took the time to explain the difference between “Good versus Bad” stress and offer my advice on utilizing one and eliminating the other. 

Let me take a moment to explain the difference between these two types of stress.  


“Good Stress”

 Stress is a natural part of our everyday lives which we experience because of our daily routines or responsibilities. Work schedules and deadlines, managing our day-day finances, making sure we are taking care of our own individual health and wellness needs, not to mention that of everyone else we care about. Having a certain amount of stress in our lives is inevitable, and oftentimes, it’s not only good for us but necessary because it is a way of keeping ourselves accountable.

Good stress helps each of us meet our daily challenges and serves as motivation to help us reach our personal and professional goals. Good stress ultimately sharpens our senses and makes us intellectually acute (smarter); it also results in our overall happiness because of how accomplished each of us becomes. In general, good stress is critically important for a healthy, well-balanced life.  

Typically, good stress is a short-term experience that can motivate and inspire each of us to accomplish a specific goal or project or enhance our performance through a combination of natural hormones, “adrenaline” and “cortisol” stimulated by “excitement” resulting from short-term “stress.”  


“Bad Stress”

 On the other hand, bad stress is the type of stress that lingers and is usually associated with something long-term and can physically wear us down. Bad stress leaves you tired most of the time because of how it can consume you. Bad stress can lead to mood and/or life changes. It can be harmful to your health, leading to distress, depression, anxiety, confusion, poor concentration, decreased performance, destructive behaviors, choices, or decisions that can become harmful. Bad stress, if gone unchecked or unmanaged, can result in chronic health issues such as headaches, migraines, insomnia, weight gain, anxiety, high blood pressure, and painful addictions to drugs and alcohol to numb the stress and fear of what has begun to consume you. In short, it can have catastrophic consequences.   

My intent here is not to scare any of you or say that every couple planning and preparing for a wedding will be completely stressed out because that certainly isn’t the case. 

Some of you reading this may not have experienced any stress associated with the planning and preparation of your wedding. Still, chances are you may be experiencing some level of stress in other aspects of your life. In any event, I hope that whatever information or advice is being offered can help you regardless of where your stress sources are generated from, wedding planning and preparation, or everyday life. The key is understanding the stress and knowing how to manage it effectively, good or bad.


The Original Question, Trust and Control:

Now, let us get back to the original question which was asked of me. As I thought about the question, it brought me back to when my wife and I were planning and preparing for our wedding. So much like this young couple, and perhaps each of you who are reading this, so many decisions go into the planning and preparation of that perfect wedding. Unfortunately, sometimes as a couple, we allow ourselves to become so consumed with every decision we forget how to have fun while continuing to enjoy and support one another. Sometimes we get so consumed with every decision, especially if it’s a decision we don’t mutually agree upon, that we allow our stress levels to take over and change how we look at one another. 

I always try never to answer a question with a question, but, in this case, I felt it was entirely appropriate because, in order for me to advise this young couple, I had to understand the dynamic of what wedding decisions or choices were creating the most stress, if they were planning and preparing for their wedding alone, or did they solicit help from family, friends, or a wedding planner, and lastly, and perhaps more importantly, did they have any “outlets or hobbies” they mutually enjoyed and were still making those “outlets or hobbies” a priority.

The answer to each of these all-important questions came as no surprise because for any couple planning and preparing for their wedding day, which, unless you’re a wedding planner, doesn’t come easy, I completely identified with how they were feeling. 

Once we immersed ourselves in conversation, the first step was to reinforce the importance of managing their stress levels and utilizing whatever resources they had access to relieve some of that unnecessary stress. I discovered this couple did not hire a wedding planner because several family members and friends offered help and were willing to step in when called upon. The real problem was this couple did not know what choices or decisions they could delegate more out of control and trust than anything else. 

I explained through my own experiences that most couples planning and preparing for their wedding are primarily responsible for where they are going to get married, location, outdoor versus indoor, who will stand in for them, the wedding theme or colors both agree upon, the number of guests, menu items, music or D.J., the overall budget, in short, the big vision items that both of them have discussed and selected.  

 When it comes to everything else, releasing control and trusting in your delegated resources is one excellent and effective way to get in front of your uncontrolled stress and begin to breathe just a little easier. In addition, emphasizing and sharing your wedding day vision with those you enlisted to help will go a long way toward you as a couple, no longer having to consume yourselves with every little detail.  

As a couple, you obviously will still be intimately involved in all decisions needing to be made, but knowing that you’ll have trusted people working for you who share in your excitement and that share in your vision will make your wedding day even that much better. It simply comes down to you trusting in your ability to delegate specific responsibilities to your trusted family and friends, who you know will step up and responsibly handle all that you entrust them with on the most important day of your lives. 


The Great Outdoors:

The next step was to determine if maintaining control and failing to trust family and friends prevented them from doing what I knew they genuinely enjoyed doing. This couple is energetic and full of life and really enjoyed the great outdoors. Camping, hiking, vacationing, long walks along the beach, exercising, picnics, and just enjoying nature, but I had stopped hearing about some of their adventures which I knew were some of their most prominent outlets for relieving stress. 

I asked if they were still experiencing some of their outdoor adventures, and much to my surprise, their collective answer was a resounding “No.” Their mutual consensus was that because of the wedding; they decided to save money and stop traveling, drop their gym membership, and focus all their attention on their wedding. They also mutually agreed that because of these choices, they began to feel the stress associated with the planning and preparation of the wedding. 

This was something my wife and I completely identified with. Fortunately, we both recognized very early on in the planning and preparation of our wedding that our stress levels were escalating, and we were both less patient with one another, primarily when it centered on important wedding day decisions. We both felt each decision we had to make was consuming us because we were fixated entirely on planning our perfect day and, much like this couple, chose not to trust or delegate much of what we could have. 

Unlike this couple who knowingly chose to cut back without even realizing it, my wife and I stopped doing the things that truly brought us joy and did nothing more than plan and prepare for our big day. We ate, slept, and dreamt about our wedding, and it had begun to consume us. 

It’s been said, the first step toward recovery is recognition, and one day as if a light bulb had been turned on for both of us, we realized we needed to get back to doing the things that brought us joy and pleasure. We needed to take a step back, breathe and agree to hold one another accountable for our agreement, which was simply to “Get Back To Having Fun.

The first thing I felt compelled to tell this couple was that I completely understood what they were feeling, as I’m sure each of you understands as well. I mean, you’re going through the same experiences as this young couple, and although everyone deals with stress differently, if it goes unchecked, it can distort some of the most important decisions you’ll have to make as a couple preparing to get married. 

So, my advice to this young couple, or anyone for that matter who is experiencing some level of stress related to the planning and preparation of a wedding, is to get back to what initially brought you joy. Don’t let the day’s stress cloud your ability to celebrate one another as you prepare for the most important day of your lives.  

“Get back to what initially brought you joy”

Much like this young couple and perhaps many of you who are in the midst of planning and preparing for your wedding, you’ve come to realize the escalating cost of everything wedding related. As a result, both of you have decided to take a closer look at your budgets and consciously choose to reduce spending in certain areas to spend more in others. First off, congratulations because as a married couple, that is something you will routinely do, and the sooner you get started, the better off both of you will be. 

Whatever decisions each of you have made in the interest of saving money, the one significant fact is that it doesn’t mean you have to stop living and enjoying the simple pleasures of life. Instead, it just means you have to pivot and reconfigure how each of you goes about finding new and sometimes very similar “outlets or hobbies” that you can still do together but may not cost as much as some of your more expensive adventures. 

If you are within the percentage of couples who may not have to consume yourselves with saving money but have still felt the pinch of wedding planning and preparation stress, this applies to you just the same. 

Rediscover The Joy and Find New and Exciting Adventures Together

Let me begin by talking about one of the most effective forms of stress relief, which is exercise, but let me clarify one thing. My wife and I are not runway models, fitness gurus, or scheduled for the next episode of American Ninja Warrior. 

We are just two people who are madly in love and enjoy doing everything together. We both recognize how much our daily exercise routine has helped us navigate our everyday lives.

 For this couple, and perhaps for many of you, exercise is and should be an essential part of your daily routine. Exercise is a great way to combat stress and keep your daily focus aligned with your personal health and wellness priorities. Exercise is the one thing that doesn’t require a gym membership and can be something each of you does together. Taking an early morning or late afternoon walk, jogging or biking on your favorite trail, developing a workout routine at home, whatever works for the two of you, the great thing is you are doing it together. On your wedding day, each of you will thank the other for all the great encouragement and support each of you gave the other while cheering each other on. Remember, each of you is the other’s biggest fan, and cheering and encouraging one another is what you’ll do for the rest of your lives. 

As you develop your daily exercise routines while making yourselves a priority, you’ll notice your stress levels changing, your sleep patterns improving, your moods seemingly more positive, and ironically enough, you’ll also notice that each of you is making better food or meal choices. This is because exercise and better food choices seem to go hand-in-hand. 

Outdoor Adventures:

 Let’s face it, for those who reside in California, we are beyond blessed to live in one of the more beautiful places on earth, with some of the more iconic locations where people from all over the world migrate to bask in the beauty of it all. So, if you decide to visit any of these beautiful locations or simply get in the car, hop on the motorcycle, bike, or whatever form of transportation works for you, then just do it! Remember, it’s not just a journey; it’s an adventure that will be celebrated for years to come.

“it’s not just a journey; it’s an adventure that will be celebrated for years to come”

Let me share some of my favorite spots for an overnight stay or a day trip to visit while finding creative ways to save money and still have the adventure of your lives. Of course, these are just a few of the incredible spots I would recommend, but regardless of where or what you decide to do, the most important thing is that you’re doing it together in the interest of enjoying life and managing your good stress. 

Yosemite National Park:

Located in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, it is home to cascading waterfalls, scenic campgrounds, and some of the most beautiful vistas in the entire world. The best part of Yosemite is that it is located in our very own backyard for all to see. Glacier Point, Half Dome, Tenaya Canyon, El Capitan, and so much more.

Muir Woods:

Muir Woods is a national monument that is part of the Golden Gate National Recreation area north of San Francisco, with over 554 acres of towering Redwood trees, some of which are hundreds of years old. There are hiking trails that take you into the woods that are primarily for beginner to intermediate hikers, with nothing too advanced for people of all ages. Some of the trails are lined with botanical gardens and creeks that fill your senses with nature’s beauty. This is a great place to connect as a couple and create incredibly fantastic memories while beating that bad stress off and embracing the good. 

Muir woods

Lake Tahoe:

A freshwater lake that at some points is crystal clear and beautifully blue with various incredible spots such as Emerald Bay, Secret Cove (not really a secret, but still secluded at times), Zephyr Cove, Hidden Beach, and Sand Harbor Beach. Lots of water activities like boating, sailing, jet-skiing, and even fishing, If camping is your thing, Richardson Campground is perfect. It even offers “Glamping” for those who require just a few more outdoor amenities. Lots of hiking, biking, and walking trails where you can assure yourself of being surrounded by nature. 

Burney Falls:

Located in McArthur- Burney Falls Memorial State Park in Shasta County, California. The elevation of the waterfall is approximately 129 feet high, and the water comes from underground springs where the water is constantly flowing with a force that can only be admired if seen in person. The best times to visit when the rage of the falls is the most intense is during the months of April through October. This place was once described as the eighth wonder of the world, and I would have to agree when standing at the edge of this majestic site. There are beautiful vistas where unforgettable images of the falls and surrounding areas can be captured and kept forever. 

Burney Falls

Big Sur:

This is one area of California that offers incredibly stunning views with adventurous hiking trails for beginner, intermediate, or advanced hikers through a beautiful lush Redwood forest, beaches with white sand, in addition to recreational camping opportunities for the dense redwood forest, located on Hwy 1, between Carmel and San Simeon in Monterey County. 

Big Sur

17 Mile Drive:

It is located in Monterey County, California, on the Monterey Peninsula, a road that runs from Pacific Grove through Pebble Beach. This scenic adventure takes you along the Pacific coastline while passing the famous Pebble Beach Golf Course, in addition to several mansions, scenic attractions such as the “Lone Cypress Tree,” Bird Rock, and the 5300- acre Del Monte Forest where you’ll find the Monterey Cypress Trees. The entire drive takes about 3 hours with photo stops along the way and costs $11.25 per vehicle. It’s a relaxing adventure that offers some of the most incredible coastline photo opportunities you’ll ever encounter.

Napa Valley:

Home to some of the most beautiful vineyards in the world, which are rivaled by any vineyard in Spain, Argentina, or even France. Just north of San Francisco, the Napa Valley hosts over 400 wineries in the region and has grape varietals that yield some of the best wines in the world. Home of the Napa Valley Wine Train, Hot-Air Ballooning, and a variety of eateries or picnic spots where a bottle of wine, some cheese, and crackers turn into some of the greatest conversations you’ll ever have. With careful planning and preparation, you could visit the Napa area and not have to spend much money, yet have the time of your life. 

Napa Valley

Sequoia National Park

Located in the southern Sierra Nevada east of Visalia, California, this national park is home to the General Sherman Tree, thought to be the largest sequoia tree in the world and is estimated to be over two thousand years old. This is one place where you could certainly enjoy for the day or plan an extended visit while taking in beautiful sunsets and invigorating sunrises. Many hiking trails could take you deep into the forest, some of which are advanced, so do your research before venturing out. Either way, again, spending time in the great outdoors with the love of your life is something that will give you both greater perspectives of why each of you loves the other. 

Sequoia National Park

Redwood National Park:

Located along the coast of Northern California, Redwood National Park host a variety of different parks where you can stand alongside some of the tallest and most majestic Redwood Trees, some of which extend well beyond 300 feet into the heavens. These beautiful trees line nature trails, allowing you to take in all of God’s creation as you find yourselves basking in the breeze of the afternoon air that dances across your face. It’s times like this when you are thankful to be alive and very much at the moment. In times like this, you and the most important person in the world standing right next to you realize the importance of all you hope and dream about coming true.  

Redwood National Park

Catalina:

Access to this special destination can be accomplished via the Catalina Express passenger ferry, which is the most economical way to go, or if you want to splurge, which would defeat the entire point of saving money for your wedding, you could charter a fifteen-minute helicopter ride and arrive like real jet setters. Once on the island, you could rent a golf cart or bike to roll around the town of Avalon on a self-guided tour or stroll along the Green Pleasure Pier, where you’ll find several very cool shops and interesting restaurants such as the Blue Harbor Grill, or NDMK Fish House. For that matter, you could pack a picnic lunch and set it up along the beach or anywhere on the island and bask in the beauty of it all while creating memories that will last a lifetime. In addition, there are several vista points where you can take that perfect picture or record an IG Reel and let everyone know you’re both living your best life.

 Although you may have decided to stop traveling, you can still take weekend adventures while staying within the state or even locally. If you’ve decided to cancel the gym membership, find a way to exercise together. Ride bikes, go hiking, or develop an outdoor exercise plan for the two of you that requires you to get some fresh air while enjoying the great outdoors. 

Some of the greatest adventures my wife and I had when we were planning our wedding were weekend road trips up and down the California coast, landing wherever our compass took us. We planned inexpensive weekend getaways where we would go hiking or bicycling along some of the most romantic coastlines in the world.  

In conclusion, the most important point to remember in all this is to continue celebrating one another and to embrace all of the choices and decisions you will make as you plan and prepare for your wedding day. Relay upon your trusted resources, your family, and friends to help you facilitate your big day. Reduce your stress levels by developing an exercise plan from which both of you could benefit. Plan and participate in outdoor adventures while taking advantage of some of the most iconic and beautifully romantic spots in the world, right here in the great state of California.  

All of us with the Janene’s Bridal and Robert Paul, SF family want to congratulate you as we consider it an absolute honor to work with you as you prepare for the most important day of your lives. We are so excited to know you said “Yes to the Dress” and look forward to not only seeing you beautifully adorned in your dream dress but seeing your groom standing next to you in a Robert Paul, SF selection. 

Please feel free to leave us a comment down below or a Google review regarding your bridal experience at Janene’s. Don’t forget, if you’ve purchased your wedding dress from us, either in San Francisco or Alameda, send your fiancé over to Robert Paul, SF, where there is a 10% discount waiting for any tuxedo of wedding suit purchase or rental.

Cheers to Love, Cheers to You! 

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